In Swedish there are a few different words that means friend. They all have their different connotations and are not quite the same a few exampls might be kompis, kamrat, polare etc. This time I will however think just of the word friend as translated ”vän”. In my opinion a friend is a person who would always stand by your side no matter what happens. A friend is a person who love you the way you are, with all your shortages. Having such friends means the world to me and I am happy to have a few friends whom I trust like that. Sometimes I share thoughts or memories with my friends and risk being betrayed. But those moments I always think like this: ”What if this particular friend had asked ME for this favour? Would I have betrayed him or her then? No, of course not!”
To dare to trust a friend is amazingly rewarding when I notice that it ”works”. I once trusted a friend in a rather special way. I wrote a very important letter to myself. I needed to write the letter because I needed to write down the thoughts I had at that time, in order to understand myself. I first thought of keeping the letter somewhere at home, but I tend to be like a squirrel… I hide my things in very smart places and then I forget where I put them… Since I know myself, I instead asked a friend I trust, to keep the letter for me. I needed the friend to keep the letter for years, because the content of it was of a kind that I needed to forget in order to forgive. It took me eight years to get over the content of the letter and all those years, my friend kept my letter for me. When I asked for the letter, the friend found it for me and gave it back, without any comment or questions. Such friends are rare and I know it. I would without no doubt to the same for that friend.
But how do one find new friends? I think friends aren’t possible to ”find”. I know that sounds SO weird, but having said that I will also explain what I mean. I think friends can be friends although you met them yesterday. Friends just ”happen”. You hit it off with some and with some you just feel awkward and want to be alone. I heard somewhere that ”you never feel as lonely as when you are two together with the wrong person”. Being friends with someone is not possible to plan for , I think. Being friendly is possible and being nice is possible, too, but to really get the feeling of being friends with someone takes more. I think of the way I can call a dear friend when one year has passed since last time we talked. It is never a problem that a year has passed, if the person I call is a true friend. We just pick it up where we left our last conversation and we reconnect again, no problem.
When I just recently got to know a new friend, I could tell almost right away that it would be the kind of friend that I will keep forever. Sharing stories, sharing viewpoints and noting that there are many things that we have in common is one part of it, but just as important is the I can do everything for you!-attitude that one can feel after just a while in the company of a real friend. When a friend ask me for a favour I don’t have a problem at all thinking I can do everything for you!
But when I am asked for a favour by someone who has let me down earlier I am more reluctant and need to force myself to be helpful. I guess it is a result of being disappointed before. Being friends is such a good thing! To my dear friends out there! Thanks for letting me be your friends. You mean the world to me! I often come back to a quote that Ralph Waldo Emerson uttered: The only way to find a friend is by being one